Have you ever wondered if the love we see in movies or hear about in songs is the real deal? We’re surrounded by messages that tell us love is a feeling, a spark, an uncontrollable force that comes and goes. It’s often portrayed as something you fall into and, just as easily, fall out of. But I’ve come to believe that this version of love is a shadow of something much deeper, more stable, and infinitely more powerful. So, what is true love according to the Bible? It’s a question that has profoundly shaped my life, my relationships, and my faith.
The Bible introduces a radical, counter-cultural concept of love. It’s a love that doesn’t depend on feelings, attractiveness, or whether the other person deserves it. It’s a love that is a choice, a commitment, and an action. The ancient Greeks had several words for love, but the one the New Testament writers chose to highlight this divine love is agape. Understanding agape isn’t just an academic exercise; it’s the key to unlocking the kind of love we all deeply long for—a love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and eternal.
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Key Takeaways
- Biblical love (Agape) is not a feeling; it is a decisive act of the will. It’s a choice to selflessly care for the well-being of others, regardless of their response.
- The ultimate example of agape is God’s love for humanity, demonstrated through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, for our sins.
- The famous “love chapter,” 1 Corinthians 13, provides a practical checklist for agape: It is patient, kind, not envious or proud, and it keeps no record of wrongs.
- Humans cannot produce agape love on their own. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, meaning it is a gift from God that grows in us as we deepen our relationship with Him.
- Practicing agape love transforms all relationships, including marriage, friendships, and how we interact with strangers and even our enemies.
What Does the World Often Mistake for Love?
Before we can truly grasp what biblical love is, we have to understand what it is not. The world’s definition of love is often a mix of two other Greek concepts: eros (romantic or passionate love) and philia (brotherly love or deep friendship).
There’s nothing inherently wrong with eros or philia. God created us to experience romance and deep friendship! They are beautiful gifts. However, they are often conditional. Eros is based on attraction and feeling. Philia is based on common interests and mutual affection. They are wonderful, but they have limits.
How Is Hollywood’s Love Different from God’s Love?
Think about the classic romantic comedy. Boy meets girl, they feel a spark (eros), they become friends (philia), they face a conflict, and then they resolve it and live happily ever after. The driving force is almost always a powerful feeling of attraction and chemistry.
But what happens when that feeling fades? What happens when one person is no longer attractive, or when a friend betrays you? If love is only a feeling, then it’s as unstable as the changing weather.
Biblical love, agape, steps in right where worldly love gives up. It’s a love that says, “I choose to love you even when the feeling isn’t there. I choose to serve you even when you’ve hurt me. I choose your good above my own.” It’s a love that endures because its source isn’t our fickle human heart, but the unchanging character of God Himself.
So, What Is True Love According to the Bible?
The Bible defines love not by how we feel, but by what we do. The most famous passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, doesn’t mention feelings at all. Instead, it gives us a list of actions and attitudes.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This is agape. It’s a love that is completely focused on the other person. It’s a rugged, resilient, and active commitment.
Why is Agape Considered the Highest Form of Love?
Agape is considered the pinnacle of love because it is selfless and sacrificial. It’s the kind of love that God has for us. It’s not a love we earn; it’s a love that is freely given. It’s a love that doesn’t ask, “What can I get?” but rather, “What can I give?”
This is why it’s so radical. Our human nature is inherently self-serving. We naturally look out for number one. Agape calls us to a completely different way of living and relating to others. It’s a call to reflect the very heart of God.
Where Do We See the Perfect Example of Agape Love?
We don’t have to guess what agape love looks like in practice. God Himself showed us. The entire story of the Bible points to the ultimate demonstration of agape love in the person of Jesus Christ.
The apostle John puts it plainly in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Notice the action verb: gave. God’s love wasn’t a passive, sentimental feeling. It was an active, costly sacrifice. He gave His most precious possession for people who didn’t deserve it.
How Did Jesus Demonstrate Agape on the Cross?
The cross is the ultimate picture of agape. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Think about that for a moment. Christ didn’t die for us after we cleaned up our act. He died for us at our worst. He loved us when we were his enemies. While hanging on the cross, in agony, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
That is agape. It’s a love that absorbs injustice and offers forgiveness. It’s a love that sacrifices everything for the good of the other person, even when that person is the source of the pain. It’s a love that is truly beyond human capacity.
How Can We Practice Agape Love in Our Daily Lives?
Okay, so agape love is this perfect, sacrificial love from God. That sounds great, but how do we actually live this out? It can feel like an impossible standard. And in our own strength, it is. But God doesn’t just command us to love this way; He empowers us to.
The journey starts with small, daily choices to put others first. It’s about intentionally choosing to be patient, kind, and forgiving, even when we don’t feel like it.
What Does It Mean to ‘Love Your Neighbor as Yourself’?
This command, found in both the Old and New Testaments, is the practical application of agape. It means we should desire the same good for others that we desire for ourselves.
- When your coworker gets the promotion you wanted, agape isn’t envious; it chooses to be genuinely happy for them.
- When another driver cuts you off in traffic, agape isn’t easily angered; it chooses to let it go instead of holding a grudge.
- When a friend is going through a hard time, agape isn’t just about saying “I’m sorry”; it’s about showing up, listening, and serving their needs.
- When someone in your community is overlooked or marginalized, agape isn’t indifferent; it actively seeks to protect and honor them.
How Do You Love Your Enemies?
This is perhaps the most challenging command Jesus gave. Loving our enemies feels unnatural, unfair, and downright impossible. And yet, this is where agape shines brightest. Loving those who are easy to love is philia. Loving those who are against you is agape.
It doesn’t mean you have to feel warm and fuzzy about them. It means you choose to act for their ultimate good. It means praying for them, refusing to speak evil of them, and being willing to forgive them. It is a supernatural act, possible only through God’s help. I’ll be the first to admit, this doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s a daily struggle that drives me back to the cross, reminding me that I was an enemy of God whom He loved first.
Can We Produce Agape Love on Our Own?
Absolutely not. If we try to love like this through sheer willpower, we will burn out and become resentful. We simply don’t have this kind of love in our own reserves. I’ve tried it, and I have failed every single time. The moment I rely on my own strength to be patient or forgiving, I find my patience runs out and my forgiveness has limits.
So where does it come from? The Bible tells us that true agape love is a “fruit of the Spirit.”
Why is the Holy Spirit Essential for Living a Life of Agape?
In Galatians 5:22-23, the apostle Paul writes, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Love is the very first fruit listed. It’s not something we manufacture; it’s something that grows in us as we surrender our lives to God. The Holy Spirit works in us, changing our hearts from the inside out. He replaces our natural selfishness with God’s supernatural love.
The more we walk with God, read His Word, and spend time in prayer, the more His love begins to flow through us. It’s less about trying harder and more about yielding deeper to the one who is Love itself.
How Does Agape Love Change Our Marriages and Friendships?
When agape becomes the foundation of our relationships, everything changes. The focus shifts from “what am I getting out of this?” to “what can I contribute to this person’s well-being?”
A marriage based on agape isn’t a 50/50 contract where each person meets the other halfway. It’s a 100/100 covenant where each person is committed to giving their all, regardless of what they receive in return. This is the kind of love that can weather any storm. For a deeper academic and theological perspective on this, Biola University offers some great insights on what agape love means in a practical context.
What Does It Mean for a Husband to Love His Wife as Christ Loved the Church?
Ephesians 5 gives one of the most powerful and specific instructions for agape in marriage. It tells husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This sets an incredibly high standard. It calls a husband to a life of sacrificial leadership, service, and protection. He is called to put his wife’s needs, dreams, and well-being ahead of his own, just as Christ sacrificed everything for us. It’s not about domination; it’s about devotion. This kind of love creates a safe and secure environment where a wife can flourish.
What Happens When a Community is Built on Agape Love?
Agape isn’t just for one-on-one relationships. It’s meant to be the defining characteristic of the Christian community. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
The mark of a true follower of Jesus isn’t a bumper sticker, a necklace, or even perfect church attendance. The ultimate identifying mark is agape love in action.
Can Agape Love Really Change the World?
Imagine a community where people are patient and kind with each other. Where no one is proud or boastful. Where forgiveness is freely given and people rejoice in the truth. Where everyone protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres together.
That sounds like a little piece of heaven on earth, doesn’t it? That is the vision the Bible gives for the Church. It’s a community so radically different from the world, so full of unconditional love, that it draws people in. While we will never do this perfectly on this side of eternity, the call remains.
True love, according to the Bible, is far more than a fleeting emotion. It is the most powerful force in the universe. It is a reflection of the very character of God. It’s a sacrificial, unconditional, and eternal commitment. It’s the love that compelled God to give His Son, the love that Jesus demonstrated on the cross, and the love that the Holy Spirit grows in us today. It’s a love that is available to all, and it has the power to change everything.
Frequently Asked Questions – What Is True Love According to the Bible
How can believers live out agape love in everyday life?
Believers can live out agape love by choosing to love intentionally, serving others, forgiving, showing kindness, being patient, and acting selflessly in relationships at home, in the church, and in the community, empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Why is the cross considered the ultimate example of true love?
The cross is the ultimate example because Jesus willingly died for humanity, demonstrating a sacrificial and unconditional love that gives everything for others, even those who do not deserve it. It shows that true love involves giving and costing something.
In what ways did Jesus exemplify agape love?
Jesus exemplified agape love through his patience with disciples, kindness to the marginalized, humility in washing feet, sacrifice by giving up heaven for us, patience even when falsely accused, and forgiving those who wronged him, including praying for his enemies.
How does 1 Corinthians 13 describe what true love looks like?
1 Corinthians 13 describes true love as patient and kind, not envious or boastful, humble, respectful, forgiving, and enduring. It emphasizes that love is essential and should be active in our daily lives.
What is the core meaning of agape love in the Bible?
Agape love in the Bible is the highest form of love, characterized by being selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial. It is not based on feelings but on a deliberate choice to love others as God loves us.
